Wednesday, November 24, 2010

賤嘴創意笑話 An office joke inspired by those who know who they really are

A secretary recently changed password for her computer at work. One day, her boss was in a hurry to use that computer but realized that he did not know the new password.

The computer only showed the hint for password: "That is who you are."

The boss tried several passwords such as hero, king, bratpitt, boss, ceo, Hitler, handsome, beautiful, god, and even honey but all in vain.

"What the hell the PASSWORD is! Can anyone here tell me about it?" shouted by the boss.

..... silence ...... silence

"Idiot," softly said by the secretary.

The boss could hardly hear that. So he raised his voice, "What did you say?"

"Idiot," again nearly whispered by the secretary.

Another employee just passed by and was shock, "What did you say? Dare you! How could you reveal his nickname?"

"I was just giving him the PASSWORD." said by the poor secretary.

Next day the company strictly prohibited setting the PASSWORD on any computer.

考試週 賤嘴創意笑話 A fruitful conversation earlier today inspired the following two jokes

話說有一對柏拉圖式戀愛的男女
女:我不喜歡沒有『功能性(functional)』的東西
男:我也是,farewell, my love
女:Likewise
O.S. That might be why Platonic love is hard to find.



An average-looking (with unique character) young man was walking with his pals. Two guys knew that he had a GF who could literally have his baby anytime. They joked about his active sex life. Suddenly,he said calmly: "Have never held her hand."
Two men were shocked, "How come? Liar!"
He said: "True! On our first date, I told her that hand-holding is sacred and must be saved for the wedding night. To be precise, I introduced her the notion of progressive dating (moves) backwards."

張大春與大學生的對話 (good for critical thinking and professional blog-writing)

全文原貌轉載如下

答大學生────關於狗屁的文化創意產業
2010-11-16 08:23 |迴響:208|點閱:45068

網友大學生私人留言,公開作答:
您好,我是一名大學生,請問依您看來,「學界」有沒有義務因應「業界」的需要而改變學習課程的內容,甚或大到學術方向? 這麼問,是因為有不少業界人士跑到學界來(是誤人子弟?還是傳授經驗?),業界或許有一些值得學習的實際經驗,但那常跟理論搭不上邊,畢竟不管有沒有學術背景都可以進入業界。例如:本校文學院開了一系列「創意產業學程」,(http://gogo.tku.edu.tw/cci/index.html),裡面來自業界的老師,常常利用上課或作業來為自己的事業宣傳;另一方面,又可以在外的工作經歷上大膽地寫「大學教授」,儘管這些來自業界的教授參差不齊。 像這是一篇任教於淡江大學的業界人士的演講,(http://blog.yam.com/oakacorn/article/27775632),我完全聽不懂他在講什麼。基本上,我也聽不懂他上課在上什麼。請問能為我解釋他的意思嗎?

答曰:光是看到貴校「文創產業中心」的「五大主修領域」裡有「創意漢學」,我就想向你致哀了。除了向你致哀,我還能作甚麼呢?
我仔細觀看並分析了貴校設立文創中心的一切說明和宣傳網頁(也建議我部落格的瀏覽客人都去看一眼),發現這這個中心就是建築在臺灣集體幻覺上的一個單位。這不只是貴校的問題,而要從整體臺灣的社會去理解。
我是一個寫作的人,我根本不承認有文創這回事,就好像我是一個正常的細胞,我不承認惡性腫瘤是我的一部份一樣。
文創產業的來歷是一群寄生蟲般的人物,在既沒有創作能力、也沒有研究能力的前提之下,逞其虛矯夸飾的浮詞,闖入原本的出版、表演、戲劇、影視、廣告、藝術展覽和交易等等傳統領域。進入了這些行業之後,他們與上述各領域的專業技術、教養和知識亦無關,他們的興趣和職責就是媒合政商資源,看起來充其量不過就是一種兼領經紀人和營銷者身份的幫閒份子。創作者拉不下臉來談生意,就需要他們。他們生意談大了,就回過頭來指導創作者。創作者要是沒出息一點,就等著被這種人掌控、消費或淘汰;創作者要是不要臉一點,就自己出面說:「我也是搞文創產業的!」可是憑藉著在業內幫閒的資歷,他們可以演講、寫專欄、出書,成為意見領袖,還彼此串合,虛構出「文化創意產業」這樣的語詞。還反過頭來告訴創作者:你們所幹的活兒,其實是我這個產業的一個環節、一個零件、一個「區塊」。
你也許還想問:文創的內容是甚麼?答案可以像這些寄生蟲一樣多變──他們自己反正也是騎驢找馬,連哄帶騙不需要準主意,條列整齊的綱領從1到9、從A到Z,拐人相信它有一套正式的演繹或分析架構就好,他們最高明的技倆就是把一堆行政、管理、財經、統計等科目中可以用常識化語言描述出來的訊息整編成一套冠以「產業」之名的雞零狗碎,摸著石頭過河。
詐騙集團要鍛鍊到極高明的境界,才能夠立足為文創產業;加入他們成為追隨者、學習者則只要夠愚蠢就行了。
親愛的大學生:從你的信裡我會看到良知與品行,如果你不希望浪費時間、浪費生命、浪費智能,建議你遠離這一套課程,因為共犯結構就是這樣的一種東西,正常細胞會死去,而惡性腫瘤一如蒙德羅梭的短篇經典所形容的那樣:「當他剛剛醒來時,恐龍還在那裡。」
http://blog.chinatimes.com/storyteller/archive/2010/11/16/564264.html